Lessons in Acceptance

Chronic illness has been the biggest lesson in acceptance. 

Unfortunately, this is not a one-time thing.

It’s a process of resistance- feeling the anger, grief, disappointment, frustration- for varying periods of time and then coming back into acceptance. And then being triggered and doing the whole thing all over again. 

We hear “healing isn’t linear” and this process has reinforced that again and again. 

I didn’t think I would still feel this much chronic fatigue and pain after more than 8 years of actively treating debilitating health issues (and over 10 more years of non-debilitating ones.) After doing so much emotional and spiritual healing. 

I have learned a LOT along the way- both formally and through experience- and have developed levels of compassion and empathy for myself and others that I could have never imagined. I have learned patience, perseverance, and resilience. There have been countless lessons learned, much knowledge and growth attained. 

AND 

There are so many emotions as I have to keep letting go of what I thought my life would look like, keep readjusting to the pain and chaos, keep healing the waves of past trauma coming up to the surface, keep choosing myself, saying “no” to others, and putting myself first again and again. 

Emotional healing and regulation have been key to navigating the chaotic and complex world of chronic illness. Not to “fix” anything. But simply to keep going in the most balanced way possible. 

Wherever you are on the journey, know that healing is a process that can sometimes take much longer than our ego would like. That it’s ok to cycle through a roller coaster of emotions that never seem to stop. That it’s ok to ask for support along the way. That there are others who see, hear, and understand you. That you are not alone.