My whole life I felt like I needed to be doing something “productive” at all times- working, studying, going out, exercising, etc.
Enter Lyme. I was stuck in bed, unable to work, unable to move, in physical and emotional pain. My brain felt like mush and it was hard to read, think, or talk. I could barely do anything, let alone anything “productive.” At times, all I could do was sleep, eat, and shower (and even those were a struggle.) I felt guilt, shame, and embarrassment.
After two years on medical leave, I was nervous about returning to work in September, even part-time. It meant waking up at 5:50am, commuting over an hour, walking up and down five flights of stairs all day picking up and dropping off students, working with special needs kids who need a lot of attention, and then commuting an hour home.
So I was reminded how unpredictable chronic symptoms are this week, unfortunately while on vacation in Colombia.
I haven’t mentioned it much on here, but every month I deal with intense PMS symptoms (unbearable cramps, nausea, achiness, headaches, sweats, chills, and occasional vomiting and lightheadedness) for 2-5 days each month. I plan everything around this, including this trip, and I have always been able to do so with accuracy.